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Fat Alice
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Post by Fat Alice » Sat Jun 12, 2004 11:53 am

The pages yers've bought are all down in me basement on display fer yers. I'm offerin' yers page 6 a couple of different ways. Firstly, 30,000 coins an' 2 lyfe claws. Secondly, 30,000 an' a nice written publical apology from the zo who knows who 'e is. I'll even knock off a grand if'n 'is apology rhymes. Or, me third an' final offer, if'n yers put the apology to music an' 'ave yers bards make a production outta it sos a big group of yers cin sing it fer me, then I'll sells the page for 'alf price.



So no more of yers whining 'bout me rippin' yers off. It's plain 'ow far I'm willin' ta goes ta 'elp yers outta this jam yers gots yerselves inta. Buts I'm makin' fair warnin' ta yers. If'n I gits pushed an' shoved whens I tries to speaks to yers then me prices're going north so fast as yers'll git nosebleeds.



An' ta shows yers what a kindly ole woman I is I'm givin' yers a little 'int. Look fer the words Rowl and Groar at least one once ever' page. They don' always look the same. Even a zo'd git that now.



Now clear off.

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Stinkfist
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Post by Stinkfist » Sun Jun 13, 2004 3:15 pm

Arr congrates on yer highway robbery Ms. Alice, ye be a credit who all scam people fer a living, but what are they complainin abouts, they be tha same folks who paid 100 grand fer a simple potion recapie har har har.. what colorful folks. Anywho best o' luck to ye sellin yer pages before ye get ripped ta shreds by Rowl.
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Jeanne
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Post by Jeanne » Sun Jun 13, 2004 5:45 pm

Is there a deadline for when you'd like the money, performance, and/or apology from the Zo or will you come to town to collect when we're ready?



P.S. Thanks for the hint.
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Mjollnir
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Post by Mjollnir » Mon Jun 14, 2004 1:54 am

During a chat yesterday when she was selling off the last of her stock of luminescent salves she said she would be around for about a month before moving into her secret hiding place.



She refused to come out and say it but I got the impression that if we hadnt bought all the pages by then we'd be in serious trouble

Dracago
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Post by Dracago » Mon Jun 14, 2004 3:04 am

She is good at scamming. A credit to my craft.
BEER!

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HWC Sareth
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Post by HWC Sareth » Mon Jun 14, 2004 5:57 am

Oh! A command performance?



/action strums his harp.



Lemme see... What rhymes with apologee?



Flea, Spree, Gee, Knee...



Oh, I got it!



Free!



Er, nevermind.
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Jeanne
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Post by Jeanne » Mon Jun 14, 2004 8:47 am

Mjollnir wrote:During a chat yesterday when she was selling off the last of her stock of luminescent salves she said she would be around for about a month before moving into her secret hiding place.



She refused to come out and say it but I got the impression that if we hadnt bought all the pages by then we'd be in serious trouble




Then it seems important to get a start on what she wants before the deadline looms. Are there any bards willing to write the performance and will the Zo apologize as she wants? Also, is there someone we can donate money to who will give it to Fat Alice?
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HWC Sareth
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Post by HWC Sareth » Mon Jun 14, 2004 2:04 pm

*AHEM*



/action point to his yellow belt.



<nudge nudge wink wink>



For a small fee I might be convinced to put together a little tune...



Er, who'se the Zo? Body odor makes it so hard to compose, donchaknow.
The result of the deliberations of all collective bodies must necissarily be a compound, as well of the errors and prejudices as of the good sense and wisdom of the individuals of whom they are composed.
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Aldernon
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Post by Aldernon » Mon Jun 14, 2004 2:47 pm

InsaneLife be the zo.



Heard he punched her in the nose.



A zo-aplogee is unexpected.



Though I understand it's something he's not rejected.



Good luck to you Sareth,



I wait with bated breath.
-Ald

"Applying epistemological transformations to dismiss information that isn't presently convenient to you is the reason people distrust self-professed intellectuals: because it's bullshit." -Skirwan

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Stinkfist
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Post by Stinkfist » Mon Jun 14, 2004 3:00 pm

Now it's come to me attention tha Mr.Life was tha zo who wanged Ms.Alice, as tha stupid zo's Cap'n, i here by offer Ms.Alice an alternative, Mr.Life could be used by ye as a test subject in any and all sorts of crazy magical experiments, if this in not acceptable i shall order tha fool ta appologize, if he refuses he shall be tied to an anchor and dropped into tha bottom o' tha ocean, so what say ye Ms.Alice, zo test subject, he will eat anythin ye tell em to. I await yer answer.



With deepest respect,



Captain Stinkfist, Pirate King
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Michael
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Post by Michael » Mon Jun 14, 2004 3:25 pm

Stinkfist wrote:Now it's come to me attention tha Mr.Life was tha zo who wanged Ms.Alice, as tha stupid zo's Cap'n, i here by offer Ms.Alice an alternative, Mr.Life could be used by ye as a test subject in any and all sorts of crazy magical experiments, if this in not acceptable i shall order tha fool ta appologize, if he refuses he shall be tied to an anchor and dropped into tha bottom o' tha ocean, so what say ye Ms.Alice, zo test subject, he will eat anythin ye tell em to. I await yer answer.



With deepest respect,



Captain Stinkfist, Pirate King




Damn, I was hoping I was the one she was talking about. I told her I would kill her if she ripped us off. I might just kill her anyway.

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Stinkfist
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Post by Stinkfist » Mon Jun 14, 2004 3:55 pm

well if she does rip us off by all means, go for it, assuming she doesn't skip town or get ripped ta shreds by Rowl first. :twisted:
Captain Stinkfist, Pirate King, Disgraced Knight, Former Coin Flipping Champion, Head of the Pirates of Lok'Groton

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HWC Sareth
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Post by HWC Sareth » Mon Jun 14, 2004 4:47 pm

So it seems that Insane Life

Has added to our current strife.

Perhaps he should apologize,

(Or Stinkfist cut him down to size).

But I agree with Micheal too

(Something I thought I'd ne'er do).

If she crosses us or lies

I say Micheal sees she dies!



(Take that Ald, you simple writer,

Let Bards make rhymes, and stay a fighter!)



:twisted: Couldn't resist. :wink:
The result of the deliberations of all collective bodies must necissarily be a compound, as well of the errors and prejudices as of the good sense and wisdom of the individuals of whom they are composed.
-Alexander Hamilton

Polanna
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Post by Polanna » Mon Jun 14, 2004 5:54 pm

/action applauds loudly.



Wonderful, Sareth, just wonderful. :)

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Ayelwen
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Post by Ayelwen » Mon Jun 14, 2004 6:25 pm

^_^ Good one Sareth

Here's one I decided to make in a few minutes:



Insane Life attacked Fat Alice,

it was then she told us her price..

They both share for each other some mallice,

but it is all in so much vice.



Wicked be the disease,

that Fat Alice knows so much.

I can smell the the pain in a passing breeze,

the answers, I wish I could clutch.



An apology and a rhyme,

is what the lady asks.

In retrobution of a Zo commited crime.

Now please let us finish our many tasks.

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