Thaumaturge Defeat

A repository for stories, poetry, songs, limericks and tales.

Moderator: Vagile

Post Reply
Trowl
Exile
Posts: 502
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2009 7:12 pm
Profession: Rangerishness
Race: Human
Player Status: Spambot

Thaumaturge Defeat

Post by Trowl » Tue Sep 07, 2010 11:32 pm

So Stinkfist, I'm notsogood with words. Please fill in this story. Thanks!
reckinyards: Never working on healers is all the rage...
Stinkfist: That's just what a GM would say. Face it you are a sock puppet for all the GMs and everyone knows it.

User avatar
Stinkfist
Pirate Clan
Pirate Clan
Posts: 1149
Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2003 10:56 am
Profession: Pirate King
Race: Sylvan
Player Status: Active

Re: Thaumaturge Defeat

Post by Stinkfist » Thu Oct 27, 2011 11:25 pm

Arrr shitslies I was supposed ta do this? Gimme a few o them longer time units an I'lls do it.

User avatar
Stinkfist
Pirate Clan
Pirate Clan
Posts: 1149
Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2003 10:56 am
Profession: Pirate King
Race: Sylvan
Player Status: Active

Re: Thaumaturge Defeat

Post by Stinkfist » Sat Oct 04, 2014 9:16 pm

So once upon a long long time ago some dark shards started ta appear, washing ashore places in chests.

Now like a whole ton of stuffs happened, there was a Shak Captain named Scabfoot who raced me an me crew to a chest on Devil's Island, a place far less boo scary than one would think. Except for that day, cuz there was a very large battle going on with the darshak at the time. Scabby and I fought many o shak off, each running for the chest the other shak's were searching for. I forget why he wanted it, but Necro for some reason was pleading me on the sunstone to not let it fall into tha hands o' either party. So I obliged.

After narrowly snatching the chest and it's goods away from Scabby with the help of I wanna say Kalian and probably Clyde and Garr I forget, Scabby turned on me briefly but then it was all good for some reason.

Necro wanted to meet but didn't have the time then. So I plotted.....

Arrr, here be tha thing abouts Necro. He's afraid o me. Ever since tha battle with Rotbeard where Kalian and I almost killed him after slaughtering all of his student minions. Side note: Ethereal sword be fuggin awesomes. Necro, had a bat problem, to solve that problem, he called in a larger, more vicious bat. The Pirate's of Lok'Groton were his solution.

But I had other plans. Necro was some necromancer shak who thought he was better than Puddleby and attacked it a whole bunch while hiding behind his minions. Face ta face? Sucker. Har buts he knew stuff about things I didn't, so part of me plan was ta hear him out and see what he had to say and try and learn more about the darkstone shards. So I plotted an ambush, I would hear him out, then ya know, kill him with an army of Pirates lead by the Notorious Y.O.R. feared and legendary Zo.

Kalian, Wangah, and I met Necro is a run down shak on Ash N of their outpost. Outside, the pirate ambush squad ready ta pounce. We listened, after taking precautions against mind control that had befallen others before (see: intoxication with wondrous herbs) and what he had to say, was unsettling. The Thaumaturge, a high ranking darshak priest leader, was behind the recent ethereal planar near merging, and as neat as it be soundin ta live in a few different planes of existence at once, I can assure yas, it kinda be tha suck.

Necro said we needed a darkstone ta enter where he lived, and he could forge one for us ta do so. Kill tha Thaumaturge, he is mad. I want to live in this world while others in my order would rather death consume it, they are mad, this must change.
And after some negotiations, very specific and detailed negotiations, we came to an agreement, my pirates wouldn't kill him, in exchange he would forge us a darkstone, send a new apprentice of his to make more if we need, and reward us with moneys and a more civil relationship. Oh yar we also had to kill that Thaumaturge jerk so he wouldn't be able to merge the planes anymore.

After much negotiation with Bane of the Blackheart and others who also had found shards, we assembled a darkstone and fought our way into the layer. We kinda crushed them, until we hit un-openable doors. Puzzled we thought... oh well the thaumaturge was probably in hiding, problem solved for now at least.

Then kind of got high and kind of forgot about it. At some point we killed a whole ton of shak in an epic battle in puddleby with some rebels and Scabby died. Two fleets from the shak stronghold on Ganther were sent, backed by another local shak fleet and army, backed by a priest army who commanded a very large number of liches were sent against town.

Largo at this time had secured the aid of rebel shak in this battle, who unfortunately for them, did not recognize my authority as Pirate King of Lok'Groton and thus simply had to die. People were not happy when me Pirates started cuttin em down causing them to turn on us. They did not see the greater picture. These were admitted slavers, and more importantly they were jerks. Also killing all shak in tha town would send a message through tha island chain, don't fuck with Puddleby, it is home of the Pirate King and his Friends, mess with it, and perish. The only one who ever kept their word fully, was Necro. Ain't that be wacky?
Years passed.

Then one day Pe Ell had opened the backdoors of the dark chamber by using the darkstone a few times. Interesting.
The Pirates assembled, and with the community together working on it a few weeks later we hatched a successful plan
to enter the lair and kill that jerk once and for all. Ya know, Necro did us a solid, may as well keep our word and kill all the other shak priests, cuz they are way more effed up than Necro, whom I had grown to be card and smokin buddies with. Pretty cool guy when we aren't trying ta kill each other.

So with the aid of TRAP, we figured out that if one would use a darkstone enough, one could pass through the doors. Now this wasn't a task just anyone wanted to do, but it had to be done. Now smoking certain herbs is known to counter the effects of evil magics. So myself, me first mate Kalian, my Master Tactician Garr, and Goofy "evil" Mystic Wangah Rah volunteered for the task. And Talin, for some reason she was just down to do it. Pretty durn cool of her.

Tho inside, there was well, a legion of bodyguards doesn't really do it justice, but lets goes with thats. Yarr.
How to get everyone inside? Oh ya we have portals and shit. So with much effort, we moved tha purple portal to the doors, then through. Then.... we attacked. It was rough due to tha paralysis and many fell, but in tha end, Garr saved the day. Mighty Garr, Stoneformed and burned them to death. All of them.

The Thaumaturge was dead. Necro steered tha cult into more sane courses of action. As a result since then the shak from ash under his command haven't attack Puddleby. Other shak factions, my they be a fractured bunch these days have attacked, but they have all perished, and that be a storytime fers anotha time. Tha moral here be, Puddleby rules, you should be our friends and not people trying to destroy us, cuz they never ever win. Tha Pirate King and his friends will find you, and they will make sure you are super ultra dead. How'd you like to be a mindless zombie forever? Cuz I know how ta do that now. I can also purge evil spirits and turn them stoned neutral as a result. That's right evil spirits, I'll make you worse than good. Bwahahahahaha

...... at this point the entry devolves into crude cartoons of stupid shak being beaten by legendary pirates and TRAPlings being turned into zombies over and over again.

THE END
Captain Stinkfist, Pirate King, Disgraced Knight, Former Coin Flipping Champion, Head of the Pirates of Lok'Groton

User avatar
Kalypso
Rising Claw
Rising Claw
Posts: 657
Joined: Thu Dec 21, 2006 2:30 pm
Profession: Healer
Race: Sylvan
Player Status: Inactive
Location: umop əpוsdn
Contact:

Re: Thaumaturge Defeat

Post by Kalypso » Wed Mar 11, 2015 9:01 pm

Holy carp! By longer time units you meant years?
"Love" is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.--Robert A. Heinlein

User avatar
Stinkfist
Pirate Clan
Pirate Clan
Posts: 1149
Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2003 10:56 am
Profession: Pirate King
Race: Sylvan
Player Status: Active

Re: Thaumaturge Defeat

Post by Stinkfist » Sat Apr 04, 2015 10:14 pm

I would have gotten to it sooner but I had an entire other shak war to fight. Also I forgot.

User avatar
Starsword
Exile
Posts: 242
Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2011 9:41 pm
Profession: Ranger
Race: Fen'neko
Player Status: Active

Re: Thaumaturge Defeat

Post by Starsword » Wed Apr 08, 2015 5:30 am

Historical Note: Superchicken.

User avatar
Stinkfist
Pirate Clan
Pirate Clan
Posts: 1149
Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2003 10:56 am
Profession: Pirate King
Race: Sylvan
Player Status: Active

Re: Thaumaturge Defeat

Post by Stinkfist » Fri Apr 10, 2015 5:36 pm

Oh yarr and Super Chicken was there! Using his powers of Super and Chicken, he science'd things and killed darshak in large amounts.
Captain Stinkfist, Pirate King, Disgraced Knight, Former Coin Flipping Champion, Head of the Pirates of Lok'Groton

Post Reply